Struggling to Control Reactive Behaviour?
Do you find yourself losing control in anger, frustration, or anxiety more often than not?
Emotions come naturally and your feelings are valid. Where things get complicated is breaking down why exactly you feel the way you do at any given moment. It's easy to point at who/what's happened in front of you and say that's obviously the problem, but more often than not, there's usually something going on deeper within you (read - trauma) that you may not be aware of. Trauma does not just come from big bad events or obviously terrible circumstances. Trauma can be caused by less obvious harmful behaviours of those around us growing up.
This is important to understand and explore with ourselves because these are things that subtly control our lives - how we perceive ourselves, the world, and anything that happens to us.
So what?
Well, you have power over what goes on internally and can change your experience with the world and people around you for a better and happier life. To have the power doesn't mean it is easy; it can be incredibly difficult to sit down and productively reflect on an upsetting situation. But the more you practice this, the easier it becomes to get yourself to take a step back in the heat of moments and consider how you feel and why exactly you feel it. And sometimes, maybe it isn't you, maybe someone or something that happened was completely unfair or out of line (obviously I'm not talking about anything illegal) - in these cases, it's worth taking a step back to consider that there may be factors on the other end which you are not aware of.
We are always responsible for our actions no matter how we feel. We can't control the external world but we have power over how we take things and what we can do in response. We can make strategic decisions in life to protect our energy so things don't constantly "just happen" to us.
-Vx
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Pro-Active vs Reactive Behaviour
