You Are Always Responsible For How You Act, No Matter How You Feel - Robert Tew

I have to stop - not pause - STOP.

And make myself breathe.

To re-direct my thoughts, to come back to centre.

It’s not easy.

Sometimes I can’t centre myself. I let go and dive head first into whatever black hole I’m heading into.

“Letting go” in this context is not empowerment. It is letting go of control, accountability, and sometimes respect.

So what can we do to help ourselves regain control? (Part I)

A classic, simple yet not so simple answer:

We regain control through commitment, and practice of mindfulness and centering ourselves.

First. It's okay to feel however you feel, however strongly you feel it.

Second. When it comes to anger - sometimes, a moment of anger is a statement, but we can't let it be a habit.

—> What exactly is this commitment?

• To want to want to show up in life as your best possible self;

• To better your relationships not only with others, but also with yourself;

• To live happier and more at peace;

• To enjoy mental clarity and calmness

—> How do we practice mindfulness?

There are 7 principles to mindfulness:

1. Non-judgement (Witness conscious)

2. Patience

3. Beginner's Mind

4. Trust

5. Non-Striving

6. Acceptance

7. Letting Go

Let’s start with a simple practice - bring yourself to the present moment by focusing on an inanimate object in front of you, right now. Focus your thoughts on this object. What is its shape? Is it smooth, is it rough? Big or small? Detailed or simple?

Keeping your gaze on the object, bring your attention to your breath - take deep, full breaths.

As you keep your gaze on the object, bring your awareness to your face, neck and shoulders. Notice any tension you may be holding and release what you can - allow your facial muscles to relax, your lower jaw to hang slightly, and your shoulders to come down.

Allow your mind to be rested. Any thoughts that come, let them go for the time being. You can do it.

Continue to breathe deeply, staying present with each breath in your body.

Stay here for at least 3 more breaths.

—

It may seem like a pointless, random “waste-of-time” thing to do when you first go through a practice like this. But this is literally mental training - a practice of patience, calm and control.

Centering one’s self.

The more you take time to practice this, the easier it will be when you really need to bring yourself to centre. In moments of distress, anger, jealousy, or sadness.

Of course, there will be days when it feels harder than before. Just like how a workout on a morning you really just don’t feel like being there feels tough despite a regular routine of working out in the morning. The discipline to show up for yourself is the same.

Subscribe to this blog and stay tuned for Part II, more on mindfulness practice and how to regain control.

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A post shared by MediPaint (@medipaintyyc)

Short video of Valerie walking along Tuscan countryside. Voiceover “Wherever you go, there you are.. recently, and not for the first time in my life, I have been confronted by this truth.

And more often than not, I have to remind myself, that I am always responsible for how I act, no matter how I feel.”